The good, the bad, the ugly – Booze roundup months seven and eight

Pelican Orange Splash

Another two months are over and it is time for a booze roundup. This time it is all about Southeast Asian drinks.

Southeast Asia has more alcopops than it needs

Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Cambodia, all these countries have shitloads of girly mix drinks. Whether they are vodka and fruit juice mixers, wine mixed with carbonated water or some cocktail replicas. Every convenience store has a huge selection and they are even fairly cheap, but I haven’t seen anybody drinking them, neither locals nor foreigners. Probably because most of them taste absolute shit, but why then even bother selling them? I can only imagine that this is supposed to be some kind of alternative to beer for European girls that come to the beach region of this world and want to have “fun”. Just stop making them and girls, stay at home.

The Good

Miracle V Vodka

Miracle V Vodka (Thailand)

This vodka was surprisingly good. It had the usual 40 percent alcohol but was mild and easy to drink. The additional mint flavor to it made it interesting. That it was made in a commune in north Thailand adds up to the niche factor.

Winner Gin

Winner Gin (Malaysia)

This was a total jackpot. Super cheap, a ridiculous bad looking bottle, and a high percentage of alcohol in a country like Malaysia. All this sounds like the drink would taste bad but this gin was pretty good, even for European standards. I have to admit that I am not a gin connoisseur—I usually don’t even like gin that much. But if it tastes good, it tastes good.

The Bad

Pelican Orange Splash

Wine Cooler (All over Southeast Asia)

Some of them are drinkable but most of them are too sweet with low alcohol. It’s not that they are disgusting, they are just bad. And often also so badly produced that you can taste it.

Tuktuk tuak

Tuak (Malaysia and Indonesia)

A lot of people dig tuak, but I am not a fan of it. It is all right as a cultural experience but I just can’t see myself hanging out next to palm trees every day chugging sour milky palm juice that has a little bit of alcohol. There is just not enough gain out of the not-so-good taste.

The Ugly

Herman Hansen Mansion House Brandy

Herman Hansen Mansion House Brandy (Indonesia)

It was expensive, like rubbing alcohol spiked with a chemical cleanser, and made me fear that I get a methanol poisoning. An absolute shit drink that even locals don’t touch. A guaranteed puke if you have more than one shot.

Lucky Lychee

Lucky Lychee (Malaysia)

A cheap lychee spirit that has 30 percent alcohol, but it tastes like it has 60 percent. I don’t know how they made it but they did it wrong. You can’t really expect much from a drink that cost $1, but it was still an absolute waste of money.

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