There is a certain vibe about Transylvania, it’s true. Deep, thick coniferous forests covering wonderfully jagged mountains. Misty valleys and peaks shrouded in fog. When the sun manages its way through the clouds it casts narrow beams of light down into villages full of wooden buildings with the most wonderfully pointed roofs. You could definitely imagine seeing some vampires here.
Peleș Castle, an actually amazing Transylvanian palace that is much better than Castle Bran
That’s all true, until you hit Bran, Romania. This is the home of Castle Bran, a rather nondescript little palace that has managed to wrangle the ropes of history into a lasso that has wrapped itself firmly around the neck of Vlad the Impaler, who we know as good old Dracula. The town is as you’d expect–absolutely throbbing with tourists and vendors selling kitschy Romanian and vampire-themed crap. There’s nothing particularly mysterious here, except why on earth people keep pouring in by the thousands to check it out. Being lovers of kitsch and mystery hunters (not really), we of course had to make the three-hour journey from Bucharest to take a look with our very own eyes.
Dracula wine, uh huh
Crap, crap and more crap
Ghastly exchange rates.. ahahahaha.
It only cost a measly 6€ to visit Castle Bran, which is a reasonable price to pay to enter the legendary estate of Count Dracula (if you ask us). Once inside we were lucky enough to have Dracula himself (disguised as Mook) take us on a tour of the house.
Hello Dracula, thanks for having us!
Dracula’s surprised so many people showed up at his open house
One of Dracula’s cool livingroom sets.. nice rug!
How did so many people find out about the secret staircase?!
Much more crowded in here than he remembers…
Dracula’s a well read guy, he loves German classics and cookbooks
How about a romanic roll around in the nude on this great rug?!
We were surprised to find that Dracula has such modern taste in furniture
A bit of a time out to stop and smell the flowers
In the evenings Dracula likes to relax on his balcony with a drink
Which overlooks this great courtyard… where did all these people come from??
The castle even has resplendent views of Transylvanian construction sites… stupid Russians ruining the neighbourhood!!
This is where Dracula has all his rooftop parties
Awesome knife collection, Dracula!
Where Dracula comes to focus on his writing
The “games room”… guess Dracula doesn’t have a lot of friends 🙁
It’s been a long day for Dracula, with so many visitors…
…So he invited us for a little break and a cop of tea in his homely kitchen
Dracula was really proud of his sword collection
But the suits of armour are the big hit here at Castle Bran
Back out into the courtyard… still lots of people
But still a great place to hang out when the weather is nice
“Hang out!” Ahahaha, you’re so clever, Dracula
Nice uh… telescope canon? Wtf is that thing?
Back outside Dracula was super happy looking into this stupid well
Oh!! Because people HAD THROWN SHITLOADS OF ROMANIA’S PLASTIC MONEY INTO IT
Ok tour is over. On our way out Dracula wanted to make sure we didn’t steal any of his cool shit, so he made us walk through metal detectors 🙁
What an awesome tour!! So that is Castle Bran, the famous house of Count Dracula. We’ve now saved you the 6€ per person to go see the stupid thing, so please take the money and visit another one of Transylvania’s magnificent castles instead. The Transylvania region is probably one of the most beautiful in Romania, and definitely worth a visit.